The Wisdom of Eric

When I am feeling inadequate

I have never been good with endings.  I talked to Eric about unplanned endings in my relationships, and even though I know that sometimes things come to a natural end, a bit of me is still convinced that it must be something that I have caused. Even though my common sense tells me that I have no way knowing what the other person is thinking and feeling anyway.

When I reflect on these feelings of inadequacy, having doubts and second guessing myself, I always wonder if I am good enough?  Or have I done enough?

Eric’s wisdom is that sometimes feelings of inadequacy are good for us, as it guards against us thinking we know it all.  That somehow, we know what is going on the other’s mind or that we know what is good for them. Inadequacy in this sense helps us to avoid the trap of thinking we are somehow better than the other person.

Myself, I am prone to thinking in terms of credit and debit. Constantly weighing my worthiness against people. Yet I am challenged by Eric to accept myself and the situation as it is.  I have always struggled with this.  The worst thing you can do is complement me.  When you complement me, my automatic default is that I don’t deserve it.

Yet, slowly but surely, I am beginning to accept that by not feeling good enough, I am good enough.  I guess it is ok to feel inadequate some of the time, just not all of the time.