The Wisdom of Eric

This is the first of a series of personal development blogs, outlining my reflections on the learning and insight that I was honoured to experience in the company of a remarkable individual called Eric.

I know Eric would be very critical of the idea that he is regarded as a guru, or a font of knowledge, but for me, he helped shape and guide my development as a trainee psychotherapist, but more importantly as a perfectly, imperfect human, experiencing the sometimes topsy, turvy, exciting and depressive world around me.

A Calling

In 2019, I felt a very strong calling, to give something back, and at the age of 58, I decided to go to university to study Counselling and Psychotherapy.  It was only later, that I realised that the real reason was my own need to explore and process who I was, and how I came to be me. It was during this experience that I met Eric, and for the first time, I truly began to understand who I was.  To unpack the baggage I had accumulated growing up, and living my life.

A Word of Caution

This blog is very personal to me and as such, it does not explore or talk about the experiences of anyone other than me.  I hope you find it interesting, thought provoking and above all, an honest and compassionate account of one soul’s journey trying to find home.

When Bearing Witness is enough 

Something I initially struggled with, was wanting to be more for people than I could actually be. There is a side of me that wants to take people's pain away (a wounded healer perhaps). And as Eric pointed out, there is a danger in this. When I wondered why? It dawned on me that when I am with others I can either ‘bear witness’ and show my vulnerability that I don’t have the answers.  Or I can abandon relational dialogue, start to diagnose and ‘try to fix’ them.   But I cannot do both.

In bearing witness I learned to trust that the other will let me know - a nod, a word, a gesture - that we are in a healing relationship.  I am learning to give people the time and space to tell me when they are ready and not before. Sometimes it is difficult to let things emerge, to keep listening deeply and empathically, and in doing so, allow feelings, gestures, metaphors and images to rise from the hidden depths from unawareness to awareness. But in the end. As Eric said to me, who is therapy in benefit of?  The client or the therapist? When I answered the client. He responded wrong!!  It’s both, as we share the sacred space, and through our inter-subjectivity, we witness, feel, make meaning and hopefully heal.